The Glimm’s Ferguson

The story of the Ferguson Toilet begins with a ride in a truck heading to the Ferguson factory in Maine. Al Bundy, then a child, had to use the bathroom. His father wouldn’t stop.

Hold it in, Al — for two hours! — and it will be worth it. Why? Because you’ll get to do your business on a Ferguson.

And it was.

“Bud, the toilets of today aren’t worthy of the name. They come in designer colors and they’re too low. And when you flush them, they make this little weak, almost apologetic sound. Not the Ferguson. It only comes in white. And when you flush it, ‘BA-WOOSH’. That’s a man’s flush, Bud. A Ferguson says, ‘I’m a toilet. Sit down and give me your best shot’.”

To Al, the Ferguson was the Stradivarius of toilets, king of the bowls.

Why am I sharing this? Because over the weekend, we experienced the Glimm’s Ferguson. Jason Eckerling submitted a bracket called the Ferguson Toilet, and it lived up to its name. This was a man’s bracket, Bud. It said, “I’m a bracket. Sit down and give me your best shot.”

Eckerling’s best shot: A perfect 16-for-16 in the second round of the men’s NCAA tournament, good enough to jump to first place in the Glimm.

This is the perfect toilet.

Full men’s standings are here, and full women’s standings are here.

Other GlimmBits:

  • The Ferguson Bracket was good enough to beat out the husband/wife pair of Dan Macht and Rosaleen Ortiz. Eckerling’s Toilet bracket sits at 74.5 points, with Macht’s HoopSkillet at 68 and Ortiz’s RosieTheWiggler at 65.5.
  • Ramona Shelburne, who led after the first round, correctly picked just eight second-round games and fell to seventh place.
  • Lauren Kimball holds both first and second place in the women’s pool, with Gene Warnick playing catch-up in third.
  • The pity money in both pools remains up for grabs, but Owen Lester currently holds pole position in the men’s pool, and Jerry Kleinbaum in the women’s.
  • Maverick Messick continues to lead the Kids Championship with 63 points. Maverick is in 10th place overall.
  • The second round of the women’s tournament resumes today, while the men take a break until Thursday, when the Sweet Sixteen begins. As always, visit theglimm.com for the latest.